So I received the following scammer email today:
And it just shows how stupid these scammers are. Lets break it down…
First of all:
Man I WISH my Social security number would be suspended!! Paying taxes sucks ass. I could use the break….
So after telling me I broke TEXAS law, they tell me the case has been sent to the Department of Justice…. because we all know the DoJ does Texas state prosecution….
So I am being prosecuted under the Proceeds of Crime Act of 2002? That’s weird – BECAUSE THATS A U.K. LAW! Not a U.S. law, much less a Texas Law!
And the Criminal Code Act of 1950? Perhaps they meant the Criminal Procedure Code Act of 1950 – Which is just a law that tells cops how they must deal with criminals. Its not a civilian code at all!!!
Then they bring out the big guns – and lay it all out there….
They reference three particular TEXAS crimes I have “committed” (forget that I don’t live anywhere near Texas):
1) Drug Trafficking – Act 258 Section D: A quick Google search tells me that Act 258 in Texas Law is about DENTISTS! Not drugs.
2) Money Laundering – Act of 1986: Here, they just got lazy. We all know that “Acts” in the U.S. have catchy names, there is not just an “Act of 1986”. Maybe they meant the Anti-Drug Abuse Act of 1986, or maybe the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986, or even possibly the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986. Regardless, none of them have shit to do with Money Laundering.
3)Theft by Deception – Texas Supreme Court Coe (Coe? Really) 1986: I think they meant CODE and as far as I know, no court in the U.S. makes “code”. The legislature makes “code”. The court just interprets it.
The next part just makes no sense:
I don’t even understand what they are trying to say here. $14 million was scammed? From 25 bank accounts? From social security numbers? Established protocols? What the fuck guys!?! Learn English before you email some dumb shit like this to an American.
Then they let me know that the U.S. Marshals office tried to serve me a warrant:
I’m pretty sure the U.S. Marshals EXECUTE warrants. Not SERVE them.
The best part is the closing:
So let me get this straight…. I can contact the Office of the Inspector General (The guy in charge of Medicare oversight) at the Social Security Administration? To appeal something I haven’t even been tried for yet? I was unaware we have made these radical changes to our judicial system.
So before you are ever arrested, charged, and/or tried for a crime, you can CALL (CALL???) the Medicare guy at some other Agency he doesn’t even work for, and appeal your case? Man, the information age has changed everything!!!
The letter in on Social Security Administration “letterhead”…. but is signed by the Texas Attorney General?!?!?
So the Medicare guy, the Social Security Administration, the U.S. Marshalls and the Texas Attorney General are all after me?
Better call that number and make my appeal!!
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